Ive been taking myself as low as I can go, I’ve stopped eating and drinking, I have only allowed myself a few sips of something to drink for 2 days now. I’ve been bad to myself in so many other ways too. I want to hurt myself all the time, my wrist itche’s like its teasing me to cut away at it.
Ive still not stopped crying, I can’t controll myself anymore. I can’t believe what life is going to be like without my son and daughter, a weekend dad if I’m allowed, this is the best scenario my life has now. I bought some small art supplies, just random crap so I can try and draw my friend her picture. I don’t know what to draw tho.
What have I done, why does life not have anything nice for me, I’m not looking for anything other than basics like waking up without having to change the sheets of my bed because of sweat and waking up upset. I hate waking up upset but all I dream of are bad things that make me feel upset and cry.
Please please please I want it all to stop.