Ive not been feeling very well, physically, mentally. I have nothing positive to think about now, there hasn’t really been something positive in my life for sometime and I’m fed up trying. I just want to float away from everything, please please someone Just come and take me away from it all because I have no fight left for this shit. The most I can hope for is being able to see my kids periodically and not being able to give them anything other than a few pound, they deserve so much more.
If I had one wish I would be selfish with it and wish I was dead, I have wished this for years but you never just keel over when you want to so I think bad things about how I could make it happen sooner. I drive more recklessly than ever. I’ve been doing over 100mph with a half flat baldy tire but it never bursts on me when I’m going that fast, no matter how fast I go it doesn’t burst and give me the scenario I wish for.
ive been trying to think about my favourite books question, I like books or should that be I like reading, I don’t know. The first book I ever read myself was The Hobbit, I enjoyed it and it was the first time I ever used my imagination freely like that. The next book I read was Watership down, I watched the animated film and in highschool chose that book to read and write about for class, my teacher was surprised I knew what the book was and had a valid reason for picking it. My next choice would probably be Rambo, I listened to the audiobook when I was bored a last year, or not bored stressed out my tits would be a better choice of words, it actually made me forget about the big pile of crap that I have to call living.
Im sorry my answers took so long, I understand if I’ve burned the bridge between us and you don’t have the same interest as before, I hope you are keeping well, hope you stay positive with life and continue to win your battles. You are a wonderful person my blonde and purple haired superhero, you always come into my mind and float there. You never say anything when I think of you, it’s like you just float behind me silent and trying your best to change the direction I seem to be forcing my life to take. I suppose that’s what I’m doing, making everything as bad a possible to drive myself to suicide, I don’t like this crap. Someone please take me away before I do something that even I regret.