I Hope You Dont Mind

Well I’ve got a little time spare before heading to work. I don’t know what’s happened to me, usually I’m wide awake till around 4am but the past few nights I’ve been sleeping for around 2am and that’s really early for me.

Things have been pretty ok, Ive been able to spend more time with my son and I even got to sleep with him one night he cmeans restless. It was something I always felt like I missed out on so its the most positive thing that’s happened to me this year along with making my new friend. I feel these are things I will remember for years to come and I’m sure I will enjoy writing or speaking of it when I’m really old.

I have been thinking a lot about a business proposal I’ve been putting off. My friend needs me to be his business partner in a new venture, we both really need something like this and we have the chance to make real money out of it, the more we invest the returns into it the more we will make back again. It’s a CSC in Spain, so a cannabis social club. It’s the same idea as a coffee shop In Amsterdam, him and his partner will live in Spain full time and I will have to visit weekly to make sure everything is done right as I have some previous experience in that industry.

As time goes on I realise it’s probably my best chance of providing for my kids. Getting them a house I own instead of rent and give them security for the future. I’m not sure why I’ve been dragging my heels with it, I’ve done more risky business in this country and tried recently to start businesses as far away as Pakistan.

Me and my friend who has a house in Karachi we’re going to buy marble fireplaces and have them shipped to the UK then I would sell them to house builders and certain construction company’s doing renovations. Another thing we could have made lots of money from but on this occasion it was my friend dragging his heels because of the dangers of going to the regions to source the marble. They all come from dangerous regions of Pakistan and his family is well known in the banking industry so he would be a bit of a target in these places, I was trying to get other people to do the negotiations and let my friend deal with transporting it to UK.

So I feel huge financial pressure this year but with a global recession going on I’m sure I’m not alone feeling skint.

I suppose I better get ready to head into work, this will be the earliest I’ve been in the shop this year.

Oh, I read my blog when I wrote after drinking. One huge paragraph, hmmmm perhaps my new note to self should be don’t try and write drunk lol. I can only imagine the spelling mistakes.

So before I head to work it’s question time.

This is so hard for me, there are so many random things I want to know, I keep writing questions then deleting them to think of something else.

What did you do for school holidays when you were younger?

Our holidays would be going to visit my auntie who lives around 3 hours from us, we would go and stay with her for a weekend or so while all my friends went on there yearly holiday abroad. I hated it and always wanted to go some where far away, like Egypt or Florida.

I got my wish eventually tho, when I was around 25 my mum and dad took 2 of my nieces to Florida and also took me and my ex. It was my first real holiday with my parents and it was Orlando Florida, we done all the parks and stayed in a villa. I look through the pictures all the time along with my pictures of my daughter and son.

Memories are good and small trinkets fill several little secret stashes I have. Cinema tickets, hospital wristbands, receipts and all sorts of random things that make my brain come alive, some good memories and some bad ones but all of them important to me.

I took way too long with this but it was worth it and I miss writing twice a day, my life will settle soon, I hope anyway coz this is hard shit to deal with and writing helped me.

have a good day and love from Scotland 👍✌️x


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