Well today I have ate 6 chips and a couple bites of fish, feel horrible, my mind has been torturing me since late last night, non stop.
I just can’t get these thoughts out of my head, all the horrible degrading thoughts, each more vulgar and twisted than the last. No matter how hard I try I can’t vision a life for me, wow, does that even make sense?. I’ve thought a lot about suicide again, where I’m going to go to do it and why I shouldn’t wait any longer. I’ve thought equally as much about self harm, I’ve not done it for so long now, must be around 4 months. Even just a small cut would be something.
The thoughts, the constant thoughts and reminders about everything need to go away, I can’t continue to battle all these different things.